How to maintain the sex life you desire, and your relationship, during the holidays
Our desire for sex is (to some degree) seasonal. Research has shown that our sexual desire and sexual activity ebbs and flows throughout the year, but there is a slight peak to this desire cycle around Christmas and New Year's. As a Sexologist, I believe that this spike has something to do with the time spent away from our work, and instead at festive parties flowing with bubbly drinks. Even though this research reports increased sexual desire and activity the holiday season, it can also unfortunately pump the breaks for many people when it comes to their sex lives.
Hands down the holiday season is both a wonderful and stressful/ hectic time. Along with daily to do lists, this season comes with shelling out money for gifts, managing chaotic schedules, and managing a keen balancing act between various family obligations. Along with this stress, many people become triggered by grief as they remember loved ones who will not be sitting at the table this year.
Needless to say, the holidays are a season where people are dizzy with cheer whilst also feeling totally overwhelmed (remember stress is always your biggest libido killer)! The holidays are meant to be about connection, quality time, giving, and indulging way too much. At the same time many people find themselves taking stress out on their partner, in the form of decreased emotional and physical intimacy. Another result can be fighting due to miss-communication.
To avoid falling into any of these common relationship or sexual ruts, I have a few cheerful and effective strategies to get you and your relationship through the holidays!
It is hard to say "no" to fun holiday events, especially if you are an extrovert. Whatever your personality type is, your brain needs mental down time. Studies have shown that our brains are constantly managing and relaying information. This can be exhausting. With the busy holiday season, we tend to fill up those weekends that once were your mental recharge time. Mental fatigue becomes an obvious result. Again, mental fatigue = low libido.
In addition to your mental sanity, be mindful of your partner's preferences. If you are an extrovert, yet your partner is an introvert, the blank calendar days may be extra import to keep a balance in the relationship. So, make intentional down days this holiday season. Maybe you will enjoy this strategy so much you make it your 2025 New Years Resolution!
Whether you are treating yourself or spicing things up with a partner, bring a little sexy sizzle to the stocking. Unwrapping a gift and seeing a sexy piece of lingerie, an intriguing toy, or a soothing sensual oil are just a few ways to jump start your libido. Hands down it is just as much of a libido boost to shop for a sexy gift as it is to receive one!
Find a sexy piece that stimulates conversation, emotional connection, and sparks some holiday fantasy. There will be plenty of sexy options around the holidays. With the stress of the giving season, your sex life may need a little help.
Just like it sounds, good enough is good enough. Too often we create these fabulous visions in our head about a gorgeously wrapped present, a perfectly trimmed tree, or a 5-star holiday meal. It all sounds fabulous, and I love the fantasy... in my head.
One brutal lesson I have learned over the years is: we can't have it all. It is a heartbreaking lesson, but the truth hurts. This holiday season adopt the belief that not everything has to be to the 9's. Try choosing one or two aspects of your celebrations to strive for the fullest, and for the rest? Good enough is good enough. I promise that even if your tree is not trimmed perfectly, you will still enjoy the holiday season.
The winter holidays can be a wonderful time of year They can also be a very stressful and emotional time of year. Take the steps to avoid sabotaging your intimate time with the person you love the most by working on self-care and making the most of your time together.
Enjoy!
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